Deep Breaths

Perhaps a song I never do want to have to sing is El Tango De Roaxanne. It is a song of jealousy and perhaps sadness, these two things going hand in hand with one another.

Today is March the 12th, marking the first week into the 2nd month where I'm with Liz. The month before has been a little choppier than I'd expect a new couple to have, but all is well. Many thanks to the kind help of Elton and Wai. You two have been there every single step of the way, telling me often not to worry and helping my nervous stomach get better.

M'baby's pretty understanding too. So that helps a huge bunch.

Many a time, within this relationship, I would have given gladly anything to embrace the phrase, "ignorance is bliss". Why? The fact of the matter, as most people would no, I read words, actions and physical language too deep in. A simple matter of a vacant stare, would be enough to set the wheels within my head turning, the wrenches in my heart going to make me worried. Such is a fact of my psychology.

Yet, a friend later told me "You should not make a curse out of a blessing. Has it occured to you that its perhaps the fact that you are so overly reasonant to problems and physical behaviour, or even the slightest change in the tone of voice, that has managed to let you keep this relationship going? Many a time, have you asked your girlfriend whats wrong, only to be told nothing. Those instances arent for nothing either because think of the times when you did ask, 'whats wrong' and there was really something she was bothered about. Would you have preferred not to find out about those times?"

People ask me how long would this relationship last.
I tell them quietly "As long as it can last. Would you sully my sincerity within this relationship by going as far as to predict how long it would last?" Perhaps my reply was a tad hostile, but perhaps there has not been a relationship that i wanted to keep so badly in such a long time, and at this point, my only wish is to keep it going.

Its time to take a smoke. I have a tad uneasy feeling within me tonight.
Curses.