The scales of life

The scales of life are never balanced. The times when the ups are up always results in the crashing down back to harsh reality a lot harder. The higher my spirits soar each time, the harder the fall when i crash back down to reality. The pain feels so much more intense when you snap back and realise, life isnt as perfect as you perceive.

Dear Life,

I have endured the eyes of many recently, each boding nothing but the ability to spark anger and perhaps, intense feelings inside. The one who has caused me the most upsetting spark so far is perhaps good ol' mom. I came home late today and mom's eyes showed nothing but sadness and resignation. To what? I smelt strongly on cigarette smoke, not because i smoked like a fiend, but i hung out with a bunch of great pals who happened to find tobacco leaves rolled in paper highly attractive. Her voice was mellow and down. While I usually couldnt care less how my parents feel but this time around, she made me feel worthless. I hated that.

The second eye came from a group mate in a film project. Its a rather mild but withering look. But coming from someone whos middle name is incompetance, who judges me in a way of being less competent than him, sparked off the worst kind of anger he could from me.

Detest.

I have no idea what your withering looks are about. You do absolutely the most meagre amounts of work and tell me shit nonsense that i have to cover for you due to a busy schedule without realising there are over 10 other people in the same position as you, fufilling and keeping up to date with the project work. Do not make it sound as though i am a free and easy fellow. For a person far from reality and not know the taste of juggling work, school together with assisting fellow classmates who are out of school, you have no right to look as me as though i am stupid, dumb or incompetent.

The last pair of eyes were perhaps the kindest i have seen all week. I spoke to Valerie from mass communications and she waved to me as i walked past. Her first words were "You look great in that! I love your new look!" We chatted for over an hour about everything and anything. I told her about the scripts i wrote and a pride i took in emulating a conversation with Lucifer and an Angel. We had a classy discussion on the shortcomings of lecturers and movies. It was perhaps, the most indepth i have gone with anyone all week. We parted and for the first time, i noticed how pretty her smile was.

Its time to move Aaron. Your life of dependancy has to end.

Aaron