An entry after the ages

Perhaps it because i havent wrote in in so long, there are a lot of things i wish to speak about. In general this letter would have no recipient because there are, a volumnous amount of things that have come to pass.

This is my letter to you, Life.

Dear Life,
You have been with me for the past nineteen years of my life and perhaps will continue to be existent for the next sixty to seventy years hopefully. Anyway, why have i written to you today? Only to speak on the deplorable standards you have become. As much as i control you, you control me as well. If you ended in an instant, I would end as well. As much as we are in this together, my rant today is at you.

How low have you made me sunk recently? The cigarettes that are clenched in my lips, the times where which i have forgone appointments to seek solace amongst drinks and smoke. The life i want to lead is nothing like what i live now. What do i want you might ask? You should know. After all, you and I are one.

I desire, contentment. I want friends who never cease to be there, people who never stop talking, leaving me alone for a single trace of the day. Well thats too much to ask but you get the picture. When it comes to the detail of my love life, perhaps it is time to stop it all. I am tired Life. I have no more energy, the romance i once could exude has died down only because i am finally, exhausted. My will to search for the so called perfect girl has gone. Let her seek me, perhaps.

Life, why have my parents turned this way? As much as i want to ignore and close my ears to them, they increasingly batter my patience with unreasonable wants and restrictions. I am not allowed to write things, even spoofs about the devil because my dad has turned into a catholic. A huge idiot of a catholic at that. My mother begins to follow in his footsteps and now has set new ground rules to constrict my life. I love clubbing. Not for the drinking. But for the company i follow and dancing. The ability and permission to club has been taken away by my parents and in return, a promise to kick me out of the house should i do it again.

Wait till i earn my keep, dear mom and dad. You would wish you never hated clubbing. If you love me as much as you claim, you would not deny the only thing that keeps me happy when im down from work, exhausted from the very stress of life itself. You love me? I dont believe you.

How depressing is it to feel in love and at the same time, know that you have no energy to do aything about it? My answer? You wish you could die. They say love empowers. I say, love can empower only one so many times. I love someone. For the longest time already and till today, i still do. But this time around, i have no more strength to profess. I have no more wit to make her laugh. I have no more romance to make her feel warm and fuzzy inside. I am perhaps nothing more than an empty shell. Someone has to fill me i guess.

Love has its limits.

Life, i end off by telling you I need a break. Please, for both our sakes, lift up again where i could smile at anything.

Peace,
Aaron